Dear Darestars Diva,

I don’t understand why people like S & M. I have seen some really intense kicking and painful stuff on websites. Why would a guy want to be kicked in the groin repeatedly and how can he endure and get horny from it?

Sincerely,
If That is a Man, I’m a Mouse

Dear Mickey,

Different people like different sensations and find different things sexually arousing. Some people get a very strong endorphin rush from pain and other extremely intense sensations. There can also be a feeling of pride or satisfaction in being able to take the pain, but most people who enjoy being beaten experience some form of sensory alchemy that changes pain into pleasure. If you’ve ever enjoyed it when your partner scratched you, or bit you, during sex Read the rest of this entry »

For a lot of people, their first entry into the world of BDSM is tying their partner up… or getting tied down. I’m not going to try to instruct you in the intricacies of bondage, there are people far better equipped for that than I am (For example, check out Twisted Monk for not only beautiful rope and gear, but incredibly detailed and informative instructional videos. Two Knotty Boys also have a number of great instructional videos on the web.) What I am going to do, however, is provide you with some extremely basic rules of bondage safety. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Darestars Diva,

My girlfriend says I’m not really kinky because I hate the movie Secretary. I keep telling her that the fact that I like to be tied up and spanked should make my disdain for that utter mess of a movie irrelevant. She insists, however, that if I were truly kinky, deep down in my soul, I would appreciate its extraordinary artistic merit and wonderfully fair treatment of our lifestyle. Isn’t just liking bondage and pain enough?

Yours Sincerely,
Knot a Fan

Dear Knot,

Honey, I am with you. Your Diva is as kinky as they come and yet Read the rest of this entry »