Dear Darestars Diva,
Is sex better without a condom?
Sincerely,
Uncovering the Truth
Dear Uncovering,
I don’t know. Is sex better with a blonde or a brunette? Is sex better with an older partner or a younger partner? Is sex better if you do it with the lights on or the lights out? Using a condom doesn’t make sex better or worse, it makes sex different. Personally, I’ve never had sex without a condom, and Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes, when two people are engaged in a BDSM “scene,” the bottom/submissive wants to be able to say “no” or “stop” without having the top/dominant listen. They may be engaged in role-play, or they may just like screaming out “don’t!” at the top of their lungs, but in circumstances when a person has specifically told their partner that they want to be able to protest without the action stopping, a special signal known as a safeword is generally used. A safeword is a word, such as aardvark, or a signal, such as dropping a bell, that signals to both parties that the action needs to stop immediately, no Read the rest of this entry »
It Didn’t Measure Up
South Carolina legislatures recently killed a bill that would have made it a crime for exotic dancers and their customers to come within six feet of each other. Although I think they made the right decision, just imagine how funny it would have been if the law had passed! Police detectives would end up sitting in strip clubs with tape measures making certain that men stay far enough away. Even better, we could take a clue from the 1950’s high school dances where boys and girls would be told to dance far enough apart that there was “room for the holy ghost”… or do you think that disapproving chaperons muttering random statements about invisible Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Darestars Diva,I met a girl on a dating website and we got to know each other by chatting before we met up in person, She turned out to be really large. I pretty much fell in love with her before meeting her. But I am not turned on by large women and although I love her I couldn’t possibly bear to have sex with her. I need some advice.
Sincerely,
Fat Chance
Dear Chance-y
Although it’s not politically acceptable to say this, to a certain extent you can’t help who you are and are not attracted to. If sex is an important part of a relationship to you, and it isn’t for everyone, then dating someone Read the rest of this entry »
This is the first of a series of columns on how to practice BDSM safely. According to you readers, BDSM is “the next big thing,” which may well be true, but it’s not something you should go into with your eyes closed.
A lot of people refer to BDSM as graduate level sex, because it requires some amount of knowledge and skill to practice BDSM safely. There are lots of books that you can, and should, read to learn the basics of BDSM and many major metropolitan areas have actual classes you can take to educate yourself. However, we at Darestars thought we’d bring some of the information straight to you. Over the next few months, every Thursday I’ll be posting introductions to some of the absolute basics you need to know to play safely, sanely, and consensually.
Safe, sane, and consensual is the motto of much of the modern kink community, and those three little words are ones you should strongly consider living by. What do they mean? Read the rest of this entry »
What a cock up!.
I don’t know why Glyn Carpenter thinks that appearing in the nude will help his chances on the TV show “Britain’s Got Talent,” but you have to say this for the guy… he’s got balls (also, in the picture, a chicken head as a figleaf… WTF??? The cock on cock metaphor is not nearly as funny as it is disturbing). My best guess is that he sings horribly out of tune and is hoping that his nudity will be an effective distraction for any wrong notes. Or maybe he’s just warm… under those hot television lights it takes a little bit of craziness to keep your clothing on!
Academic Sex
A Scottish burlesque dancer is working on her oddly topical doctorate - in stripping. Dancer Sarah Vernon, otherwise known as Gypsy Charms, is putting together a scholarly work on the history of the striptease and Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Diva,
Last week I attended the wedding of one of my best friends. While I was there, I hooked up with one of the bridesmaids. She was fun, and we had a really good time, but now she won’t answer my e-mails. I’d kind of like to date her, even though she lives three states away, but I’m beginning to think she was just using me for the sex.
Sincerely,
Jilted After the Altar
Dear Jilted,
I hate to break it to you, but there’s a good chance that you’re right. I know a lot of women who think that weddings are a great place to pick up men for casual sex. After all, people are drinking, their inhibitions are lowered, Read the rest of this entry »
In honor of this, if you will excuse the expression, bewitching article on penis snatching sorcerers, I’d like to take a moment to deal with the far too common fear of penis theft. Now, I understand that, to most men, their penis is an important part of their sexual identity, but I a very important announcement to make. Penis theft is extremely rare. Lorena Bobbitt aside, most men are more likely to be repeatedly struck in the head by lightening than to be forcibly separated from their penis before they die. Even most diseases of the penis don’t actually lead to a need for its removal. Barring a vivisectionist wife, the penis you have at the end of puberty is pretty much going to be the penis you have when you die. So, men of the world, fear not! You’re in more danger from overuse of Viagra than Read the rest of this entry »
Strangers in the night
I can’t remember if I’ve previously written about Spencer Tunick, the photographer who likes taking pictures of large numbers of naked people, but the man sure gets around. After a year of photographing naked people all in not just North America, but Northern Europe, he headed over to the UK and, after a web solicitation, got almost 2000 Irish men and women to sign up for his next two photo shoots in less than 48 hours. He says he doesn’t want nudists or exhibitionists to participate, but really, how is he going to keep them out? I’d say “who else is going to volunteer?” but I know several relatively shy Canadians who participated in one of the shoots solely because Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Darestars Diva,
I have a great girlfriend. We’ve been together almost a year, and I’m completely in love with her. Everything is great between us except for one thing. She wants me to move in with her when my lease is up in 2 months. I think she may be the one for me, and I could see spending the rest of our lives together, but I just can’t imagine doing so in her apartment. It’s bigger than mine, which is why she thinks we should live there, but it’s all pink and girly and full of stuffed animals. What do you think we should do?
Sincerely,
I Remain Unmoved
Dear Unmoved,
I can understand your reluctance to move into your girlfriend’s apartment. It’s hard to move into a place that Read the rest of this entry »
I have a pet peeve.
My pet peeve is women who say “no” to intimacy hoping that their partners will talk them into it so that they can feel better about their sexual decision-making. “Oh no! I shouldn’t.” and then a few minutes later “well, I guess if you really want to…” is a great recipe for training men not to respect a word that you say.
When I was 16 I had a friend tell me, “I never say ‘no’ to a guy unless I mean it. If he doesn’t listen, I’ll put him in the hospital.” I was still completely sexually innocent and had no idea that what she was telling me was unusual. After all, why would any woman say “no” to sex if she wanted it? Read the rest of this entry »
Oh Canada…
You can’t legislate common sense. No ethical teacher would encourage their students to go skinny dipping, but it seems that the Canadian government has felt a need to put this into law. Excessive much? Any teacher who would intentionally expose students to inappropriate material isn’t going to be stopped by legislation, but this could potentially deny students access to legitimate educational experiences – such as viewing art.
It will be a cold day at the North Pole…
A woman in Cambridge, MA was recently found guilty of public lewdness for dancing naked Read the rest of this entry »
